Autoimmune, Blog, Celiac, Kindness

Can I Worry Less? I am Trying.

Okay we have seen it over and over again…what is up with 2020?! COVID-19, virtual school, wearing masks, quarantine, toilet paper shortage, some of the best memes ever made, murdering hornets, riots, gun sales are up, Saharan Desert dust storm?!

One positive I see from all the crazy…change!

Man, oh man, change can be scary. Just this week I posted my boy’s baby highchair on Facebook Marketplace and within minutes I took the post down. Why? I was afraid of my kids growing up. They have not been able to fit in that adorable seat that they each took their first bite of food in, for years now but I could not let it go. I am not ready to accept that they are not babies anymore. I will get there…someday lol!

But our world is changing! Laws are changing, awareness is in the forefront for so many and communities are coming together.

Now trust me. I am NOT in denial of all the negative. I am here to try and bring a little sunshine through the clouds. Maybe you will like what I have to say. Maybe you will not. Maybe you already stopped reading.

I have been a little, I mean a lot, MIA, from my blog. I still have not quite figured out why. Maybe my head space was taken up by more worry than this little lady already possessed. And big worry…worry about my kids becoming germaphobes, worry about my kids missing out on the tremendous benefits of social interactions with their peers, worry about riots being close to home, worry about my loved ones catching COVID. Worry about MY immune system and whether my body has fully healed since my diagnosis of Celiac disease.

Lucky for me, even though Celiac disease is an autoimmune, we are essentially “safe” in a way because our immune system is only affected by consuming gluten.

But what the hell does all this worry do?! Nothing but bring stress. I love this quote: “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.” But guess who worries the most…ME!!! I worry about the tiniest of things. I am trying to get better, really, I am. I try and say that quote over and over to help me let go of the things I cannot change.

During this pandemic, I noticed that when I let go a little and tried not to worry, I found a bigger connection to my loved ones and a realization of what is most important in life. This quarantine has actually brought me closer to some. My little core 4, as I like to call us, have become even more connected. On the flip side, we have lost some peeps. Not loss like death. Loss in friendships, frankly, for unknown reasons. But life comes with successes and sadness. Happiness and failures.

And I get it. When someone hurts us personally, it hurts our heart. It leaves a cut. And sometimes the cut might bleed for a while. Put a bandaid on it and let it heal. Grow and learn from that cut. Accept it and let it go. Sometimes that cut might be so deep it leaves a scar. And throughout our life, things might happen that open up that wound making it bleed again. Put a bandaid on, accept it and let it go. There may always be a scar there, but scars can be beautiful. Scars tell stories. Scars leave a mark that tell a story about us.

One thing to always remember, though, is that another person’s behavior towards you is NOT a reflection of YOU! It is a reflection of THEM! It is a reflection of the state of the relationship they have with themselves.

We are all different, beautiful humans. We all have a different past, different experiences. We all have met people along our journey in life, for reasons we sometimes will never know why. Maybe you do know why. Maybe this person came into your life to teach you a life lesson. Maybe to teach you to let go. Maybe to teach you to live life to the fullest. Maybe they taught you that you DEFINITELY do not want to look at the world as negatively as they do. Maybe YOU taught them something.

I am not sure what our future holds. What our world will look like in 10 years or 10 days. I do not know what school will look like for my boys. Will we always have to wear masks everywhere we go? Will we be less social beings? With all this uncertainty, I have to concentrate on, worry less and put my energy in what I know is certain. The love that is in our hearts, the desire and acceptance for closeness with our loved ones and protection of our health is certainty that can keep us going. Continuing on my health and fitness journey and giving my family the immense amount of love I have for them, is certainty I can thrive from.

Since my diagnosis, I have learned one thing, well many different things, but one that sticks out right now is that everything really DOES happen for a reason. We meet people for a reason. We learn something for a reason. We fail for a reason. We go through change for a reason. We are diagnosed for a reason. But the part that matters the most…what YOU do with that change, lesson, failure, success or worry, is what projects you into a path of negativity or a path of positivity.

“Never allow anyone to take away your sparkle. Be kind and laugh and love often.”

Cheers, Tracy

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