Can you believe today is the last day of this decade? I remember New Years Eve 1999 and the whole freak out that the world was going to end when the clock struck midnight. Computers would crash as we entered the new century. Then, when the world didn’t end, I looked forward thinking, it’s going to feel weird when we get to “the 20’s” (2020). Now that time is here. We are about to enter “the 20’s” and what a time it is.
Life certainly throws you curve balls all the time. Reminds me of that country song, “Life Changes” by Thomas Rhett. “You make your plans and you hear God laughing. Life Changes…”
I have to say, I hate change. I get overwhelmed by change. I fear the worse. I like being comfortable; who doesn’t? Some change I can handle. Surprises that force change, that, that I do NOT like.
Last week was really crappy for our little house. It was Christmas; the most magical time of the year. The boys’ Christmas break from school was about to begin and what happens, our littlest comes home from school with a 102 fever. He had the flu. The little guy was miserable. Then, my husband catches it 2 days later. So now with 2 sick, my oldest and I are trying ever so much to not join in on the sickness. But despite the best cleaning and sanitizing I could do, my oldest woke up Monday morning (Christmas Eve Eve) with a 102 fever. Now it was his turn.
Now if you remember from my article 2 weeks ago about the almond paste and rainbow cookies (Reading Labels), I mentioned how we were supposed to host our families for Christmas Eve; 30 people. Well now, that was not possible with 3 out of 4 of us so sick they couldn’t think straight. Life changes, right?
It was so sad in our house that week. Seeing my babies miserable. Me feeling helpless and wanting to take their pain away and make them feel better. Me feeling guilty that I didn’t clean enough to keep everyone from catching it. I stayed away as best as I could so I would not be down and out also. We needed at least one of us functioning and keeping us all alive and making sure Santa would still be coming for a visit!
My husband and I were so upset about the circumstances. It wasn’t fair (“Life’s not fair, Tracy” I hear my dad tell 13-year-old Tracy in my head). I was bitter. I didn’t want to make my rainbow cookies. I didn’t want to make any Christmas cookies. I didn’t want to wrap presents. I didn’t want Christmas to be here yet. I wanted to stop time or reverse the clock. All I wanted was the boys to have a magical morning like every child deserves on Christmas morning. I took my bitterness out on my husband and he took his bitterness out on me. I think it was the icing on the cake for us for the tremendously long list of bs that we went through in 2019. 2019 was not the best year for us, remember from my story in (Alive).
After finally deciding we couldn’t postpone Christmas and after recognizing that we can still have a sweet, precious Christmas morning for our boys’, I put on my big girl pants, put on a smile and Santa began wrapping presents.
Christmas morning ended up being a very sweet, relaxing and exciting day. Santa brought new bikes and lots of new toys and Legos making 2 little flu-ridden boys beam with happiness. We had our traditional Christmas morning with breakfast including waffles for the boys and Eggs Benedict for mommy and daddy. All while Chevy Chase’s ‘Christmas Vacation’ played in the background.
Hindsight is 20-20 they say, right? Well I look back and see that even despite 3 of us being sick, we still had a beautiful holiday, a memorable one at that. We didn’t have to run around house to house busy and stressed making sure we squeezed in every ounce of plans that we could in our schedule. We sat, as a family, watching Christmas movies, playing our new games, writing this article on my brand new, tiny and cute “blogging computer” as I have called it and still enjoying our holiday together as a family. Life changes, right?
I still feel sad and overwhelmed by the intense and unexpected change that caused our holiday week to change drastically. I still will always hate change that comes and surprises me. But I have to remember what is most important. Our little unit, our little family of 4.
You never know what life is going to throw your way. But whatever it throws at you, you have two choices; run away from it or run with it.
This year, I have to run with it. I have to run with what life throws at me. I will accept the change, embrace the change.
Tonight, as I anxiously wait for the ball to drop, I will CHEERS to a new year. A new year filled with changes, good and bad, happy and sad. I will CHEERS to the hope of more answers to my health and symptoms. I will CHEERS to the excitement watching and teaching my boys about life’s greatest gifts. I will CHEERS to new friends, new experiences, new adventures, new stories and memories. I will CHEERS to this amazing journey I’m on and I will look forward to what life brings me in 2020. CHEERS to a new decade. CHEERS to you all! May you all embrace 2020 and look forward to all it will bring. Happy New Year!
“Never allow anyone to take away your sparkle. Be kind and laugh and love often.”